Thursday, August 11, 2005


HAT: i loved pee wee
AA: loved? LOVED?
HAT: adored
HAT: worshipped
AA: why in the past?
AA: i still fucking do
HAT he’s no longer around is he?
AA: but thanks to the magic of dvd technology he'll be with us forever
HAT: tee hee
AA: and for the rest of my life, whenever i hear the secret word (zyzzybaloobah) i'll scream it loud!
HAT: i'm sure you liked cowboy curtis
AA: and ricardo
AA: such a hunk
HAT: if cowboy curtis were to ride the nyc subways today he’d get arrested
AA: for?
HAT: he always has a suspiciously large package
HAT: ba-da-bing!
HAT: you there?
AA: i thought it was for playing in matrix 2 and 3
HAT: oh i guess you’d have to a newyorker for that one
AA: explain, you snob
HAT: there are posters in all the subway cars now since 9/11
HAT: asking you to call the police if you see any suspiciously large packages
AA: oh, very good
HAT: i thought so too
AA: sorry i missed it
AA: ok, i'm hungry
HAT: order in chinese
AA: and this friend is waiting for me to watch a movie
HAT: which
AA: the towering inferno
HAT: lol
AA: been wanting to see it again since sept. 12, 2001
HAT: hehe
AA: btw, that joke about ordering in chinese was uncalled for
AA: i tried for an hour
AA: in vain
HAT: and you think sept. 12 was?
HAT: ok ok that was um a little below the belt
AA: it's almost true, though
HAT: oh yeah?
AA: on sept. 9 or so of that year
AA: some friends and i
AA: were talking about these old disaster movies
AA: and having a blast
HAT: best is poseidon adventure
AA: so to speak
HAT: lol
AA: oh yeah! with shelley winter swimming underwater in that brown chiffon dress
AA: a classic
HAT: when her arse is pushed thru the porthole
AA: arse? you a brit now?
HAT: i thought it sounded funnier with an accent
AA: 2 days later, bang!
HAT: i hope you were contrite
AA: and i lived on 4th st. between 2nd and 1st
AA: we were cut off for several days
AA: illegal sublet
HAT: i lived on 5th between 3 and 2nd
AA: no id with address
AA: really?
HAT: not on 9/11
AA: oh
AA: i was gonna say, we must have met at the boiler room
HAT: i lived on south street then
HAT: office on john
AA: where is that?
AA: soho?
HAT: john is one block from wtc
HAT: south like 10 blocks
AA: oh my
AA: front row center
HAT: didn’t hang at the boiler room much
AA: must have been awful
AA: 9/11 i mean
HAT: i didn’t see anything
AA: weren't you there?
AA: wtc i mean
HAT: yes but…
AA: oh my god, you're blind
HAT: my assistant was trapped in the office
AA: you have an assistant?
AA: cool
HAT: and my exroomie was in tower one
AA: did he die?
HAT: yes
AA: shit
AA: sorry
HAT: it’s ok
HAT: assistant went in early and got blocked in
AA: and died?
HAT: no
AA: oh, blocked in your office
HAT: there was one building between my office building and wtc
HAT: we don’t know this much but it was a blackout
AA: honestly, i don't think i'm over 9/11 yet
HAT: lose anyone?
AA: no
AA: but being there was so strange
AA: the fliers
AA: everywhere
HAT: mine is still up at st. vincent's
AA: for whom?
AA: your ex roomie?
HAT: my friend

AA: all these happy pictures of dead people
AA: wedding pics
AA: vacations
HAT: it was stupid
AA: it moved me
HAT: but it was all one could do
AA: yes
HAT: he was the only guy in nyc i spoke my language with
AA: oh
HAT: it was as if i was struck dumb
AA: of course
HAT: his dad and my dad were in grade school together
AA: known him all your life?
HAT: yes
AA: shit
AA: i'm sorry i brought that up
HAT: only person here who knew my previous life
HAT: it’s ok
AA: not really
AA: i'm ruining your evening
HAT: yes
AA: i'm so sorry
HAT: he was with me on 5th street
AA: can we talk about something else?
HAT: sure
HAT: i've actually talked it all out
AA: therapy?
HAT: i gave 6 hours of testimony for columbia's 9/11 oral history project
AA: oh wow
AA: that must have been tough
HAT: yeah
HAT: but a good thing to do
AA: both for you and for the rest of us
AA: like holocaust testimonies
AA: perhaps
AA: things that need to be preserved
HAT: yes
HAT: his was one few bodies actually found
AA: that's good
HAT: oh i don’t know
HAT: only parts
AA: this is horrible
HAT: i'm sorry
HAT: now i've ruined YOUR evening
AA: no, i am
AA: i always authorize myself to joke about this
AA: because i was there
HAT: theres lots more but i wont go into it :)
AA: and very affected by it
HAT: oh yeah i understand that
AA: (thanks)
AA: but the way i was affected was nothing
AA: compared to actually losing someone
AA: all i lost was a 14-year relationship
HAT: how?
AA: we all got crazy after 9/11
HAT: hehe i remember
HAT: i lost my job and apartment too
AA: the whole fucking world's been crazy since then
AA: now more than ever

HAT: one day that week...
HAT: i woke up in my loft...
HAT: no power still but i used to sneak back...
HAT: and i looked up the phone book...
HAT: and called my first bf after 10+ years...
HAT: he said ... he died?... and i said yes...
HAT: you see we used to hang together in ny
AA: your friend
AA: roomie
HAT: even before he met his wife
HAT: him, me, my bf, his then gf
HAT: so the only one i wanted to talk to was my ex
AA: makes sense
HAT: so he said. how did you know i was here?
HAT: i said, i didn’t... i just looked you up...
HAT: he’d just come back two weeks before...he lives in asia now
HAT: then i cried… the first time i cried
HAT: until then it was dna samples, st. vincent's, posters... all that shit,
AA: then all breaks down all of a sudden
HAT: and of course his family calling me
HAT: my cellphone bill that month was over 2000
AA: that whole autumn in new your was just insane
AA: so intense
AA: the fun we were having was weird
HAT: funny thing was no one uptown had an idea what it was like
AA: i remember 2nd avenue totally empty
AA: in the middle of the day and week
AA: the bars and restaurant emptying their stock
AA: the night of the 11 everybody was insanely drunk
AA: i had never seen that in ny
HAT: i'm actually still in trauma
AA: of course
HAT: only my closest friends know this
AA: and your farthest in my case
HAT: lol
AA: heh, i made you laugh!
HAT: now anyone can listen on columbia's website lol
AA: yeah
AA: it is up?
HAT: read sons and lovers?
HAT: no it has to be transcribed first and then i want to take a few things out
HAT: i just did it in june
AA: no i haven't
AA: oh, very recent
HAT: there is a scene where the protagonist shares his closest innermost with a complete stranger
HAT: lawrence writes that section beautifully
HAT: i mean i didn’t lose my wife or child or anything like that
AA: still, i think i'm gonna watch earthquake instead
AA: friends are our wives and children
HAT: theres a group of waiters and busboys in nyc
HAT: who meet in jackson heights
HAT: all immigrants: latinos, bangladeshis, etc
HAT: and they talk of 9/11 and the friends they lost
AA: all the time?
AA: geez
HAT: like once a month I think
AA: that doesn't surprise me actually
HAT: they don’t have to testify in washington lol
AA: lol

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